In the light of the 2012 Summer Olympics, Michael and I have decided to take a dive - into better health. For some time now I have been battling the bulge, wanting to be thin again but not really doing much about it. I had previously been on a diet and lost 20 lbs., but I had since gained them back and then went on to have two more babies at age 41 and 43 that has made me at my all-time-high weight!
Weight is a subject I often avoided because it just seemed too unreachable for me now. Not only did my previous weight came back, but now I'm in my mid-40's. How is it possible that I could EVER get back to the size I used to be?
Michael, on the other hand, has only gain a minimum amount of weight but he's battling other issues that *might* be due to the stress of his job; or might not.
Two days ago we decided to do something about it.
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Actually, I wanted to do this and Michael went along with me because he knew it would help me doing it together. We bought the 24-day challenge with "Advocare" and beginning Saturday we are going to try it. The first 10 days will help us to detox our body and the next 14 days will help us to re-learn a new eating lifestyle - or something like that. All days are packed with Advocare products that will help along the way.
Before I begin this program, I'd like to express just how I have been feeling right now. I'm hoping that somewhere down the road, this might touch a cord with someone who is struggling such as I am on the day of this blog.
I was always an active child though I didn't really care for any sports. I loved to run and I was perhaps the fastest runner I knew as a preteen. I loved to bike and would take bike rides of 25 miles or so just for fun. I loved to dance and would go to "Christian dances" and dance the evening away almost without stopping (unless there was a song on I didn't care for). I was never really happy with my body since I was a medium to larger framed girl than some of my friends, but in my grown teens and young twenty years, I ranged about 130-135 lbs. which was normal for my body type.
When I met my husband, we began to go to fast food restaurants often. I became less active and after our wedding, I began to 'settle down'. Slowly I began to gain weight but it wasn't in just one stop; it was all over so it wasn't as noticeable as it could have been. Then after one baby and the next, I just settled into mother hood, as everybody else, and the weight continued as I managed to take care of my family. I'd take them to McDonalds for a play time activity and I began eating more 'fun foods' with the kids. I didn't like to be restricted and always had a sweet tooth. This has continued like this - eating and gaining weight after every baby - until today. Here I am now 20 years, 6 kids and 100 pounds higher! It's only 5 lbs. a year but it DOES add up over time!
I've noticed I am unable to do the things I used to - even simple things like getting off the floor. My body looks very much like my Mom's and I remember her struggling to get off the floor as she held onto a side-table to help push her up or went on her knees. I used to just be able to go from a sitting to standing position, but now I find myself getting off the floor like my mother used too. This makes me feel VERY old.
I have a over-hanging belly which makes me not able to see my feet when I stand. It makes me look like a continually five or six month pregnant woman - which I am NOT! I hate the fact that my pants sometimes roll down because I have too large of a waist. Just yesterday, I was asked if I was expecting again! How embarrassing!
Also, it seems as if sometimes when I'm in an indian style position on the floor and bend over, something INSIDE of me seems to get out of wack and I have to sit up straight to work it out. Perhaps one of my organs getting pushed around with all the added fat. I'm ready not to experience THAT again.
Going to the store is no fun for me when it comes looking for clothes. Come on! Doesn't these clothing manufactures understand that FAT people LOVE fashion too? Why do most plus size clothing look as if it's better suited for someone in a nursing home? STYLE PEOPLE!
Then there's the issue about going up stairs. I don't notice much struggle with the 3 and 9 stair levels I have in my house, but when I had to rush up from the basement to the top floor (about 21 steps), that is when I feel it. I have little breath anymore for more than just 10 steps. This too is not good.
Now let's talk about genetics! Both sides of my family where heavy and at times, obese. Both were large in their own way but mostly around the belly. They didn't control their diet and now they are with the Lord. My father died of a stroke to the brainstem due to the many years of his love for fried food. My mother died of heart-related issues but they were all complications of her inability to control her diabetes, which runs strong on her side. She loved bread and sugar and so do I. I have many relatives on her side that had diabetes and colon cancer. So my genetics are against me I suppose.
My lack of time to do pretty much anything for myself is also at fault. Hey, take a look at my blog - you don't see many entries before this because I just don't have the time. I am a homeschooling mother of six kids! There is no time for me.
Handling stress has been a downfall for me. I usually handle stress reaching for sugar, bread, coffee (w/french vanilla), coke or I'd take a long nap. These things just made me more sluggish in the end. I also have an umbilical cord hernia that sometimes gives me pain. I know if I were thinner, I it wouldn't be an issue.
My woman's health issues haven't been all that great either. I have been battling with yeast problems and bacterial infections regularly. I know it's because of my great love for sugar! Yeast just LOVE every frappacino and cookie I eat! I've been saying for years I'm going to give up bread and sugar, but haven't done it. Now is the time!
Two other things to document concerning my health is the constant ringing in my ears and my eyesight going - but I don't think those things will change due to weight loss.
My self-esteem isn't very good at this point, and it shows up in many different areas of my life. I often put myself down with my friends and family and ever wonder WHY my husband still loves me and my children adore me. WHY?
I really want to be confident again having my picture taken! I also would love to be in great health for my 2 year old and grandchildren. At this rate, I won't, so I need to so SOMETHING. I recently got myself checked out and according the doctor, there's nothing wrong with me right now. My blood sugar and cholesterol are all just fine. However, it is hard carrying this extra weight and I know if even I lose a little weight, my chance for diabetes will decrease greatly AND I'll be motivated to begin an exercise routine. So here I go. I'm diving into a new life and I hope to document it along the way to one day look back and say, "Hey I remember feeling that way and now I don't."
THERE IS HOPE!
Does anybody else feel the same way I do?
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